May 8, 2020 Surgery morning

Today’s the day and it started as most do…at 3:30am with a screaming cat in the hall. Now she’s asleep and I’m wide awake…I sometime wonder if this is what happens when kids crawl into their parents’ bed in the middle of the night.

People seem to be surprised at how calmly I’ve been dealing with all this. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I went through years of ongoing back pain after my herniated disc that have given me some sort of reference point for dealing with a long term health issue or levels of pain. For example we were talking to the surgeon about the MRI or taking it easy after the surgery…something along those lines and I looked at BJ and said “Well, if it doesn’t involve you moving me around while I scream in you ear…we’re making progress.” The surgeon reassured us that it’s not that much pain…so progress! Or maybe it was the years that I saw Tracy dealing with rheumatoid arthritis, there are good days and less good days over the course of time. You just deal with what’s in front of you and take the next step. And really that’s just life.

Won’t this be the biggest build up if we can get everything out with this surgery and there’s no indication of spread? I’ll probably have spent more time trying to figure out this blog and set up than in medical appointments. There will be much cheering in Whoville that day!

I am expecting ongoing medication regardless, and I certainly have a good incentive to remember to take it every day (and a fabulous husband to remind me!) Even if I do need to go through chemo and/or radiation, there are, literally, millions of people with cancer of all types, who have gone through it, lost their hair, got burned or sick from the medicine, and come out the other side just fine. Most treatments are temporary states of being and all with the end goal of making you better and living a healthier life. I mean, I’ll likely get a nutritionist who wants me to substitute my corn dogs and tator tots for some kind of salad, that’s truly long term pain.

But its Friday and likely by next Tuesday or Wednesday, I’ll know a rough draft of what I should expect for the next few months, other than looking like medical personnel while walking into the grocery store so as to avoid the germs from all the other masked people around me. So, even though I’m not a fan of cliffhangers, at least I don’t have to wait 3-12 months for the next episode or movie or book to find out about the upcoming chapter in my story. I mean come on, preselling a book that isn’t releasing until September??? Why would you do that? It just pisses people off…sorry…tangent.

It’s almost time to shower (again) with some pre-surgery, make you super clean, body wash and find clean comfortable clothes…hmmm…I never did figure out a good top that buttons up…I need to do that too. So, off I go to start my day. For those of you sending thoughts and prayers my way, thank you. Be in touch very soon!